I want you to keep this to yourselves; if too many people hear about it, not only could there be stampedes, but the value of the Pound, Dollar, and Euro, could suffer irreversibly.
Yes, I've found a way to get a regular supply of free money.
Some years ago I was given some secret numbers, and a piece of plastic, that allows me to get money from machines that one finds outside banks, inside supermarkets, and on the high street.
There's a small, well-hidden, slot on the front of these machines (you may have to ask someone to show you where it is). Into this you put the small flat piece of plastic (roughly 5 by 8 cms), which gets sucked into the machine itself. Don't panic; you'll get it back later.
Now you need a secret number. You type this in, and tell the machine how much money you need (don't be too greedy, or it may suspect something). Then you wait a while, whilst it makes strange whirring noises, and flashes lights; then out come the bank notes from a type of letter box at the front, along with the small piece of plastic you used to trick the machine (try not to dance, laugh, or scream at this point).
This is when you need to be careful. I always walk away from the machine, trying to look as innocent as possible; not to bring any attention to myself. Preferably try to look as if you haven't actually touched the machine at all.
It really is incredible. I've been using this method for years, and no-one has yet discovered my scam. These machines have paid for all my living expenses for yonks, and I've encountered no problems at all.
I'm not promising that this method will work everywhere, but if you can find the right sized piece of plastic, and find someone willing to give you a secret number (no, you can't have mine), you could find yourself with a never-ending supply of free money.... just like me!
As I said above; please keep this to yourself.
N.B. The above photo shows a machine giving me more money yesterday; PROOF if needed. I apologise for the quality of the picture, but I was trying to be as discreet as possible.
Happy to see that some people still carry cash. Oh the feel of REAL money, notes and coins!
ReplyDeleteWord of warning: Whilst that magic hole in the wall does indeed what you describe be on your toes, do not get distracted: That hole has no compunction to suck your card back and, worse, your money if you don't take it pronto. This usually happens either late Saturday afternoon or on a Sunday. Rarely does one wish for Monday morning to roll on in double quick time and your bank to open for over counter service (make sure you take your passport and other verifying-your-existence papers).
U
I do like paper money, but hate the shrapnel; other than one or two Euro pieces. Yesterday I was behind a woman at the checkout who decided to pay by cheque. First she had to rummage through several bags to find her Chequebook, then, once she'd found her glasses, she proceeded to fill in the bit left behind, before trying to tear off the cheque itself and giving it to the girl for printing. Then she needed to sign it, and hand over her identity card; which she couldn't find. And so it continued. She must have been fooling around for about 5 minutes. Thank heaven for CASH.
DeleteI hate getting stuck behind someone paying by check , or the person rummaging around at the bottom of a purse looking for the odd cents to pay for something .
DeleteThe one I witnessed yesterday was classic. I think the woman was on 'day release'.
DeleteDiary of a Nobody, you "hate"? How many of us are in such a HURRY to make not allowances for those who - for whatever reason - are a bit slower? For all we know, one of these days it might be us who count on our fellow humans' patience.
DeleteU
Ursula, you're beginning to get 'serious'. Of course DOAN wasn't suggesting that she hates the people themselves, just the silly actions they sometimes do.
DeleteOh brother
DeleteGood grief.....are cheque books still a thing?
ReplyDeleteThey are around here!
DeleteI have not used cash for so long now I am not even sure there is any in the house. Most places here now say contactless payment only.
ReplyDeleteYou are no longer in Ye Olde Worlde EUee. Over here things are a bit behind. We pay our tithes with corn, and buy our bread with groats.
DeleteMr. Magnon, this whole idea has made me giggle all along as I read...thank you so much!
DeleteAs with lunches there is no such thing as free money.
ReplyDeleteOur local hardware shop - open all hours - has been Cash Only just to keep us on our toes and remember to put notes in the pocket along with the mask.
The only things I buy WITHOUT cash, is via Mr Amazon.
DeleteI’m with JayCee - hardly use cash at all. Even church collections are going contactless. Think it is an attitude matter rather than country specific. I have a travel specific credit card for the good old days when I travelled.
ReplyDeleteI like cash. I can watch it as it disappears!
DeleteI'm in on the secret, Cro, because I have one too. But is it you who has been using mine to order £126 of stuff from Deliveroo? It certainly wasn't me. Deliveroo wouldn't even deliver to our area if we wanted them to.
ReplyDeleteNot guilty... I just go for cash. It can't be traced!
DeleteSeemingly, according to the card company, neither can Deliveroo.
DeleteThere is another secret to this machine. If you forget the number and try three times it gets mad at you and swallows the plastic card.
ReplyDeleteI've had that happen too. They don't always work as one expects.
DeleteSadly, there seem to be those who think that there is nothing more to it then that.
ReplyDeleteAnd......?
DeleteThanks for the laugh this morning. And (tongue in cheek) the REAL magic is having the government deposit funds into your bank account at periodic intervals for "stimulus". :-)
ReplyDeleteIf only... they just stick their tongues out at me!
DeleteCash is essential, as it makes one more thoughtful as to what he spends it on.
ReplyDeleteHere ibe beeds 'real' money and I keep a little pile of coins in a bowl for such things as paying the window cleaner, the gardener, giving the paper boy the occasional pound and such like. Surely that will never die out.
DeleteI hope not Weave. I find cash essential.
DeleteWow! That is amazing! Thanks for the tip off. I think I will use my birth year as my secret number. No one will ever guess that.
ReplyDeleteIt's worth a try.
DeleteThere is a whole new world out there for you and you don't seem to know about it. You can go into shops with that same plastic card and do something with the card and the shop gives you things without even touching any cash. These cards are marvellous and one day I will check my bank balance and calculate how much extra money I have accumulated by using this card.
ReplyDeleteI saw someone recently using a similar scam. They just waved the bit of plastic in the air, then walked out of the shop with a whole load of free stuff. No-one blinked!!
DeleteSilly boy!
ReplyDeleteAt last; a compliment!
DeleteMy grandson used to think it was a money store.
ReplyDeleteYour grandson was right.
DeleteI'm surprised any shops take cheques these days.My 'current' cheque book must have been issued more than 10 years ago. My New Zealand account has never even had a cheque book.
ReplyDeleteI, too, enjoy using cash but so many clerks don't know how to count it to give me back change I’m due.
ReplyDelete