Octopus.

I am often tempted to buy a whole Octopus when I see them on my fish merchant's slab, but the 3 hour cooking time is slightly off-putting.

The easiest way for me to obtain my occasional 8-legged (armed?) treat is to buy them canned. There are plenty of different makes available, and, up until now, they have all been very good.

My preference is to eat the pieces with a small salad, and buttered wholemeal bread, as a lunchtime titbit.

And being reasonably weight conscious, the garlic flavoured oil in which they're packed is (reluctantly) given to the dogs. Woe is me!

Delicious.

Imitation is the.....

It is often claimed that owners become like their dogs, or even that owners choose dogs that resemble them.

Personally I think this is complete rubbish.

The day that Bok and me begin to resemble one-another; I'll eat my bloody beret (as Bok already has!). 

  

Wet suit.

                                         
                                           
The last wet suit I bought (back in about 1985) was a two piece suit, with short trousers. Not unlike the above.

I purchased the suit via mail order, and when it finally arrived I was very eager to see if it fitted.

I checked it over, imagined myself under water, and it all looked fine. The Neoprene shorts fitted perfectly, as did the jacket which had a back flap that passed between my legs and fastened with two studs at the front, not unlike the one in the picture.

I looked myself over in the mirror to make sure there were no dodgy seams, then returned to my bedroom to take the thing off, but the two front studs that secured the flap just would not budge; I was trapped.

There was no instruction leaflet, no Neoprene jemmy, and no laughing idiot jumped out to say I was on Candid Camera. I was well and truly imprisoned in a rubber suit, and anyone could have called at the house at any moment. God only knows what they would have imagined was going on!!!

Eventually, after about an hour or so, I decided to call the manufacturers to ask for assistance, and a giggling employee explained the escape method (which was relatively simple).

Oh the relief!

Happy Accident.

Most of what I find particularly attractive in my garden has happened purely by accident.

This is a classic example. Our flowering evergreen Clematis armandii has crept down in amongst the leaves of what I now think could be an Euonymus (thank you Molly), and looks stunning.

As you can see (below), all this happens around the pump house door, where I visit fairly regularly at the moment to check on the mouse situation. A couple of years back I found that, over winter, bloody mice had chewed all the electrical wires in the control box, and (when it was opened-up in June) the pool's circulatory system refused to operate.

This year I'm keeping the little blighters in check, with mousetrap and cheese, whilst enjoying these fabulous flowers. Evergreen, creeper, and fabulous flowers; can't be bad, can it!

Veggie Wednesday 4: Pizza.

Well, it had to be on the list; didn't it. Pizza, pizza, pizza.

I'm not sure how certain veggies would feel about the addition of anchovies on this offering; but for me a pizza is not a pizza without them!

Otherwise it's pretty basic; green pesto for the base, then tomatoes, then mozzarella, then anchovies.

I bought a ready-made base (I'm no fool), and also added a couple of black olives.

N.B. May I add that (in my opinion) putting pineapple chunks, chocolate, or Spam on a pizza should be a serious offence. I'm sure that in Sharia Law they already have the appropriate punishment.

Wills by Kimbo.

My oldest son, Kimbo, has an interesting sense of humour.

Many years back, he asked his younger brother, Wills, to sit for a portrait. Wills was too busy, and said 'NO'.

Kimbo (who must have been about 15 at the time) began to draw him anyway, and in an attempt to frustrate his attempts Wills sat shaking his head from side to side, saying 'don't draw me, don't draw me!'.

Above is the result. 

The tiny 2 by 3 inch drawing hangs just beside where I'm now writing, and it makes me smile every time I look at it.

Inovative Cro.

                                              

I've only 'invented' two things of any note.

My first was black Band Aids, Elastoplasts, or whatever they're called where you live. Back in the 60's it seemed strange to me that these plasters should all be 'caucasian' pink colour, I believe that darker ones are now widely available. I should have copyrighted my brilliant idea.

My other genius invention is the '3 Temperature Electric Cro Kettle'. This would have 3 buttons, 1; boiling, 2: late for train, and 3: student.

People with average time on their hands would make their coffee/tea with button No 1's 'boiling' water. Those with a train to catch (or had overslept) might choose hottish No 2's 'late for train'. And those students for whom everything has to be instant, would choose No 3's tepid 'student' button (pour-stir-drink-n-rush).

The No 3 button would also come in useful for the student stand-by (and probably stand-up) meal of extremely instant Pot Noodles (ramen).

I think it's a winner; although I haven't copyrighted this one either!

p.s. I should add that Lady Magnon likes her water 'twice-boiled'. During and after the initial boiling she usually goes off somewhere to look for her glasses/shoes/phone/handbag/the dogs/etc. Then after a delay of about 15 minutes, the water is given a second (and more thorough) boiling, before being used.

Maybe the Cro Kettle should have a fourth 'repeat' button.