With our new anti-London and anti-South East England Prime Minister (some bloke called Aye-up Andy) wanting to move the UK's seat of power up to some northern town, I would like to propose that London and the Home Counties declares UNIVERSAL INDEPENDENCE a.s.a.p.
We have everything we need. A world-respected seat of government in one of the world's greatest cities, a very strong economy, and a population who have already worked hard all their lives, or are currently doing so. Our streets are clean, and we have very few unemployed. We have no need for some silly, and unnecessarily expensive, 'No 10 North'; we'll leave all that nonsense to Union members, strikers, and the work-shy.
Andy can try his best to get them to pay for all his Socialist dreams; some bloody hope! But leave us Southerners out of it.
Down in Londonshire we'll get-by with Twickenham, Wimbledon, and Hickstead. We'll go to Ascot, Henley, and the Chelsea Flower Show. We'll go shopping in Harrods, Fortnum's, and Liberty's. And we'll take our children or grandchildren to visit The Tower of London, Buckingham Palace, and Lords Cricket Ground. We have little desire to visit abandoned coal mines, disused metal bashing factories, or Whippet breeding farms.
To be a citizen of Londonshire, people will need to speak The King's English; and be easily understood. Londonshire will have very strict behaviour and decency rules. Ethnicity will not be a problem, but proof of assimilation will be essential.
Passports and residency papers would be strictly controlled, and entry to our highly desirable new country would only be granted to those who have the necessary requirements.
Anyone attempting to reach the British Isles by rubber boat, will need to land at Liverpool, Scunthorpe, or Grimsby.
In future, Dover and the whole South Coast will be CLOSED.







