It's been an interesting week.

Things really aren't going too well at Keir Hardie Mansions, the Socialist headquarters.

The man beaming over the shoulder of his chum Sir Keir 'freebie' Starmer (below) is none other than MP Dan Norris.

Dan defeated Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg at the last election, and became the new member for North East Somerset and Hanham.

Sadly Mr Norris probably won't attend parliament for some while, having being arrested following allegations of rape and child sex offences. A group of police were recently seen at his home carrying away boxes of 'evidence'. Norris has been suspended from the Labour Party, and Starmer is said to be 'miffed'. Watch this space.

Meanwhile over in Russia, Tsar Putin has allegedly been plotting to sabotage the UK's under-water gas pipelines. Russian boats have been spotted lurking above our major pipeline from Norway, and our 'spies' inform us that an attack is imminent. One previous attack had already been attributed to the Russians.

Since our major Oil/Gas Co's have been stopped by the government from further drilling in The North Sea, we import around 40% of our Gas supplies from Norway (who DO drill in The North Sea), making us open to all sorts of problems. Much better, and cheaper, to produce our own. The Luddite Socialists/Communists closed our vibrant Coal industry back in the 80's, and current bizarre government policy, under Ed Miliband, is hoping that wind and sunshine will somehow replace the more traditional forms of power production, to create most of our future energy needs. IT WON'T.

As a result of the current threats, we are now advised to prepare for 'blackouts' and lack of gas, and a handy guide has been issued (below).

Luckily I have everything apart from bottled water, and the battery-powered radio, neither of which I shall bother about.

I'm not sure quite why a lack of gas should require me to have a first aid kit, but I have one anyway. I presume the Swiss Army knife is to repel any Russian Gas-Inspectors who might knock on my door.

Here's an interesting story that you might have missed. In Kyrgyzstan, the Muslim Governing Body have banned women from wearing the full body Niqab. Apparently they fear that there could be nasty terrorists lurking in disguise, hidden under the clothing. People have been saying much the same thing in Western countries for decades but the authorities have done nothing. It takes a Muslim country to understand the true danger of Muslim clothing! 

You really couldn't make it up.

And finally. Can you possibly imagine what could have happened here (below)? This recent six car pile-up occurred on the A1, and wrote-off all six cars. Four police cars and two private cars.

What on earth were they doing? I do want our police to chase criminals wherever they need chasing, but this looks like totally reckless behaviour. Have a close look at the photo and see if you can work-out what happened!

p.s. I know you were all wondering. And, yes, in The People's Socialist Republic of Birmingham the rubbish continues to pile-up, the Rats get bigger and bigger, and the charming Trade Union member bin-men are all probably sunning themselves at their holiday homes in The Algarve or Tuscany. 

Kate Adie has just pronounced that the Brummie accent (Birmingham) is the most disliked in the UK. I'm not surprised. Toodle pip!