I was once advised that if I found myself lost and alone in the jungle, and provided that I had the correct ingredients, I should mix myself a dry Martini made of one part Gin to one part Vermouth. Even before I'd finished the shaking (not stirring), someone would suddenly arrive telling me that I'd done it all wrong. Voila!
Another version of this advice comes from Australia. If one should find oneself lost and alone in the outback, one should start playing 'Patience', and, again, within seconds someone will appear over your shoulder advising that 'the red six goes on the black seven'.
Personally I found the very best 'ice-breaker' was having a puppy. It was amazing how many people would stop to stroke a small cute scruffy mutt, and have a chat (I'm known to do this myself). Pleasant in its way, but getting from A to B was a bloody nightmare. I should add that this was based on experiences in England/Wales; not in France.
Samuel Johnson showed wisdom on almost every subject, including that of being alone; he advised "If idle be not solitary, if solitary be not idle". Wise words indeed.
A very amusing post if possibly lacking in practicality.
ReplyDeleteFirst, find your jungle!
DeleteDog owning has been the salvation of Covid. We are able to speak to other walkers - at an approved distance - deploring the weather or admiration of each others dogs (especially the puppies). In the past it has also led me to some very good new friends.
ReplyDeleteI have not had to resort to the card or cocktail mixing trick yet.
When we left college, we moved to Wales and were very much 'newcomers from down south'. However, our little black-n-tan mutt was a hit where ever we went, and we made friends very quickly.
DeleteI see that I may have to adopt a dog when we move home.
ReplyDeleteAlways a good ice-breaker, but as I said above, you need to add an hour or so to your shopping trip.
DeleteThat looks a little like David Bowie in the jungle. Dogs are great conversation inviters. Johnston's words need some digesting but instinctively I think wise.
ReplyDeleteDr J was a wise man. He didn't get much wrong.
DeleteOn the other hand Covid has not been the salvation of dogs- it seems we now have a pandemic of unwanted dogs in the UK due to impulse buying during lockdown and not really knowing how to look after one properly.
ReplyDeleteThat's very sad. I do remember a rush to buy puppies when the pandemic began; perhaps they outgrew their handbags!
DeleteI think this is a myth. Have a look at the rescue organisations sites and you see very few available, even allowing for the current difficulty in getting to meet prospective dogs/owners. Whereas puppy prices have rocketed - £2000 now not unusual for crossbreeds - and very sadly dog stealing is the new TWOCing.
DeleteI do hope it's a myth, but I have heard tales of dogs being dumped.
DeleteI once found myself alone with a puncture. The very next car stopped. A man got out, said "My wife's got one of these. Your spare and jack are difficult to get at. I'll do it for you." He did, and went on his way. Luck?
ReplyDeleteOnly once have I stopped to help a lady in distress with a puncture. When all was done, she asked "How much do I owe you?". I very nearly took it off again.
DeleteI settled into my new home here very quickly and made many friends - largely due to my little dog - alas sadly no longer alive.
ReplyDeleteI well remember your tales. A dog is always a friend-magnet.
DeleteOh, I'm guilty of stopping your puppy-owning brethren from going about their day with my unfeigned interest with what's at the end of their lead!
ReplyDeleteWe dog-lovers are all much the same I think, and we often find their animals more interesting than the 'owners'.
DeleteI have always found that the best way to meet the world is to need something and think, 'I will just duck out quickly...I don't need to spiff up.' Guaranteed, you meet everyone you ever knew in your life, and moreover they will all want to talk.
ReplyDeleteYes, just when you decided to bite into a doughnut, you turn a corner and bump into the vicar! Oh the shame.
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