Friday 1 February 2013

A Belated Apology to D.


D was one of those rather pompous men who permanently wore a navy blazer, with a regimental badge sewn onto the breast pocket; he must have been about 60.

He was a minor manager in a factory that made milking machines, and was what one might call 'locally respected'.

I was in my village pub one evening when he proudly stated that he had been born, and still lived, in the same small Shropshire town (E), and that his earliest memory was of looking out of his tiny bedroom window at the boats sailing up and down The Shropshire Union Canal.

This puzzled me, and I said 'Well, if you were born in E, you wouldn't have looked out on The Shropshire Union Canal'.

'So, you think you know better do you!' he snapped back at me.

'Well I do know that The Shropshire Union Canal doesn't run through E' I replied. 'Even though I've only lived in the area for a year or so'.

At this D laughed, looked at me as if I was an idiot, and reached into his inside pocket, ostentatiously drawing out his wallet. He slapped a £10 note on the bar, and challenged me to a wager; saying 'This'll be the easiest tenner I've earned in my life'.

I reluctantly met his £10 note, and he called to Fred, the publican, for his small book on local canals.

He panned through the pages until he came to the town of E, then suddenly stood bolt upright and turned a nasty pale grey colour as the blood drained into his polished brown brogues.

'What does it say?' asked the eager crowd gathered around him.

'I can tell you what it says' I said rather guiltily; slipping the two £10 notes into my pocket. 'It says it's called The Llangollen Canal'.

Poor D had been made to look a complete fool, and I immediately regretted what I'd done. He looked as if his whole life had been rubbished, and by the young whipper-snapper from 'the big house' as well.

He didn't come to our village pub much after that evening, but when he did occasionally make an appearance, he always referred to me bitterly as 'Mr Know-it-All'.

Oh how I wish I'd been wrong that evening. I'd have paid over the odds to have saved him from the awful shame he suffered. But then; he really should have known better!

I still feel embarrassed writing this today.

20 comments:

  1. Don't be. He placed the challenge, based on incorrect information....he was wrong and couldn't accept that with grace.

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    1. This happened over 30 years ago, and is the one event in my life that haunts me more than all others.

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  2. You were a younger man when you had this episode and you are older and wiser now...your natural good manners just make you regret taking the bet in the first place..don't feel bad about past events, he had perhaps embarrased himself but you did'nt murder him!

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  3. The gentleman should really have had a touch more of the bamboo about him. With chaps like that you surely can't have been the first one to re-define his universe.

    Hindsight's always 20/20; that's why I wear sunglasses on my behind, to dull the memories.

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  4. I liked this post, even if it has bittersweet memories for you.
    You recognised the brittle part of a man's psychi and that, in my mind speaks volumes about you
    Nice one Margaret Rutherford
    X

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    1. In years to come, John will post up another belated apology, saying what a hurtful thing it was to refer to Cro as 'Margaret Rutherford', and how much he regrets humiliating a harmless man in the autumn of his life, in front of all his friends and admirers.

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  5. If he had laughed his willie off, as I would have done, and bought you a pint as well as sacrificing his tenner, you wouldn't feel bad at all, would you? So it really is down to him being prissy about the whole episode. I'd loved to have been there!

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    1. It was seeing someone turn grey that did it; I'd only previously heard about that in books!

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  6. We so enjoy being right, but sometimes there is a price to pay. It was a life lesson that helped you grow as a human being.

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  7. Strange how such a minor thing can have such an impact...I wonder if he recognised eventually that it didn't really matter. Of course, we all know that young people are smart arses!

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  8. Replies
    1. Maybe this admission will begin the healing process.

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  9. I think you are very sweet and conscientious to let it still bother you. I think we have all said or done things that cause us grief and they pop up in our minds eye again and again to try and remind us not to do it again.

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  10. oh, the memories that bring us pain. if he had been a less pompous fellow, one of good humor, you would have been spared his turning grey and your resulting regret. I hope sharing this helps smooth the rough edges and brings you some peace.

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  11. You were reluctant to place the bet, so you had an inkling that you were right and this man's pride was going to be hurt. You can't help the degree to which you were right.

    It is a powerful reminder, though, how something we may consider trivial is Very Important Indeed to someone else, and there may come a time when we are the ones turning grey over something we hold/held dear.

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    1. Part of my shame is that I KNEW I was right, and I suppose I also KNEW that it would make him look small. I really should have been more kind.

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  12. The other fella's pride was punctured, and he was a poor sport about it. That you still feel bad about it says a lot about you, though. When we're young, we're generally more interested in winning and being right, but now, we know that being kind is much more important than being right.

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  13. It shows just how wrong you can be when you're dead certain that you're right. Cro, I actually think you did this man a favour - he was the one treating you like an idiot.

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  14. I have some memories I would like to reach back into history to erase. Pride is a harsh thing.

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