Essex (an English county, east of London) has been given a dubious reputation in recent times. The term 'Essex Girl' is now synonymous with bad taste, easy money, and drunken behaviour.
The Essex Girl is known for her white stilettos, died blonde hair, and sprayed on tan. She is the classic bimbo, with enhanced breasts, and fake Louis Vuitton bags. She's loud mouthed, foul mouthed, and promiscuous. Unless you are Essex Man, she is the sort of person you really wouldn't want to introduce to your mother.
Of course the name is quite unfair, as most of Essex is perfectly pleasant and genteel, and the girls who live there equally so. Beautiful quaint villages are dotted with highly desirable homes for those who wish to commute to London, and the county offers some exceptional countryside and sites of historic interest.
Quite why certain (am I allowed to say 'lower class') young ladies from Essex should CHOOSE to dress (and behave) like prostitutes is unclear, but they do and are proud of the fact.
Essex Girl icon, Posh (above), is the wife of football player David Beckham, and is a classic of the ilk. All Essex Girls want to be like Posh; but overpaid 'available' football players are thin on the ground. Even so, the girls continue to regard 'tarty looks' as much more important than 'intelligence', as that is seen as what footballers are looking for.
If by any chance this has made you want to learn more, and you wish to study them at close range, just keep well clear of Romford (Essex) town centre on a Saturday night.... the pavements are littered with them, and you might just trip over several. Be warned; they bite!
Cro do you think this is an old pic of Posh Spice lol she has had her boobs reduced,her hair is dark and she is much more motherly...this is really interesting though..also I always thought she was a narky looking piece of works and I saw an interview with her and yes she smiles and is quite funny..seems she puts on a persona to cope with the press..but having said all that you are probably perfectly correct lol.
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult to tell how old the picture is. She's always worn the same uniform; large shades, died blonde hair, and stilettos. Yes, she does occasionally smile these days.
DeleteI'm an Essex girl by upbringing myself, although I don't think I dress like a prostitute. I'll check with my Mum. One thing about your article puzzles me? Just how do you know what Romford is like on a Saturday night?!
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid that film appears regularly on TV. Footage is used as an example of 'the evil of drink and promiscuity', which probably adds to it's popularity. I think the police and ambulance service should just leave them alone; unless they commit serious crime. (p.s. Please see Para 3)
DeleteEssex was the original, it has since spawned a new species of bimbo and himbo nationwide. You forgot to mention the obligatory white Audi A1/4/5/6/8, the new-build house tastefully "furnished" by the same people who "furnished" the estate show-house and, after a couple "ov 'appy ye-ahs', the three screaming kidz (sic) in tow but otherwise quite abandoned ... Innit? Yeah! Fing! ...
ReplyDeleteNB - hearty apologies to the other 90% of the population of Essex, but you know, you really ought to assert yourselves more chaps, and even out the old image; reclaim your county!. Classes on the difference twixt the sound of "th" versus "f" might be a damned good beginning!
Harrumph! Stalks off stage left, back in the direction of middle England, grinning ...
Rather like the many unwritten languages of Africa; that wonderful combination of Estuary English plus Jamaican Patois is very difficult to write down, in order to capture its exact nuance. Otherwise I would have written the whole of the above in Essex Speak. No wa'a meen.
DeleteEssex Girl is involved in a car crash, and when the paramedic turns up to asses the damage, he asks her, "Where are you bleeding from?"
ReplyDeleteShe answers, "Essex."
Then he asks her, "How many fingers have I got up?" and she says, "Fuck me, I'm paralysed from the waist down as well!"
Delete"Essex is perfectly pleasant and gentile..."
ReplyDeleteSo no Jews there then?
What is the difference between an Essex Girl and a shopping trolley? The shopping trolley has a mind of its own.
I ran the bomb squad out of Colchester for a couple of years in the late eighties and I loved the place.
Surely, Colchester is beyond the realm of Essex Gals. I believe there's a pack of sheep dogs all along the inside of the M25, keeping them in!
DeleteDid I really write 'gentile'? I of course meant 'genteel'! Woops. I'll change it.
DeleteThey may have started the whole thing in Essex but the girls up north are just as awful. Exactly the same attributes, under-dressed, loud-mouthed, over made-up and with no manners or self-respect.
ReplyDeleteOn Friday and Saturday nights our town centres are no-go areas, full of yobs and yobettes hurling abuse at each other across the streets. They all think they're celebrities by behaving like the worst of them.
Good grief, I sound more like my poor dear late mother every day !!
Sounds like your late mother was a very wise and honest person.
DeleteAs Cindy Lauper said, "Girls just want to have fun."
ReplyDeleteLike my dear departed grandmother used to say about anything going on after midnight.
ReplyDelete"The only thing open after midnight is legs and bars".
I like that.
DeleteI think that all of those white...dazzling ...cars are longings for their owners to drive ambulances?!!!!
ReplyDeleteI guess it must be like the L.A. of the UK. As long as people are kind, I don't care about the outside stuff. She's probably a little too skinny, though.
ReplyDeleteAnd why doesn't Posh ever smile??
ReplyDeleteAh the Beckhams or Thick and Thin as they are known south of haywards heath. If you want to see how they would have turned out had he not been talented with his feet, an early sunday morning drive around Grays shoulkd educate!
ReplyDelete