Saturday, 16 June 2012

The Great Wall of Lumberjack.



To become a professional builder you require just 3 things; a long piece of string, a stone (preferably with a hole through it), and a level. For the Vertical you require the string and stone, and for the Horizontal, the level. You'll also need to attend a 'How to Build Stuff' course; this finishes when the pub closes after day 2. N.B. It's there, in that pub, that you will also be required to learn by heart The Builder's Pledge... 'A thing of beauty is a joy for two weeks'.

So, if you adhere to all the above requirements, you (together with a few monkeys) can build something like this..... A BRIGHT ORANGE WALL.


For obvious reasons we're now thinking Leylandii, Virginia Creeper, Privet, Wisteria, Graffiti Tags, Small Bomb, Large Bomb, Any Sized Bomb.

Mushroom connoisseurs may be amused by my oh-so-funny juxtaposition below; especially as it's 'Girolle' season here; maybe that's where their 'inspiration' came from.


Ooh look, there's another bloody car and trailer, digging ruts into our land again. Yippee!


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18 comments:

  1. OMG - perhaps they think that colour blends with the colour of the house!!!!!!!!!

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  2. I thought it was a boundary wall - is it usual to have a window in a boundary wall? or is it a new building?

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    1. It's a boundary wall around their pool. The window is a mystery; either they want us to look at them in the pool, or they want to look at us in our new orchard. Either way it's a bit weird. The mess on our land is unbelievable... we've had words!

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    2. Hopefully the actual wall is on their land even though the mess is on yours.

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  3. That painterly eye of yours...
    Hope your orchard leafs up quickly. Presumably there's nothing to keep them off your land?

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  4. Winter freezing contraction and sunner baking expansion is going to have a field day with some of that "brickwork". Assuming that there has to be a Berlin Wall, any polite neighbour would give YOU the choice of colour, since you're the only ones facing it. When do the barbed wire and the machine-gun towers go up?

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    1. Any polite neighbour would have asked permission to drive all his machines, and dump all his sand gravel etc, over MY LAND. Arrogant bloody Parisian!

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  5. Got lots of Virginia Creeper at Willow Manor...I'll send a couple of crates...

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  6. Easy does it Cro, we don't want you having a heart attack over all this ugliness.

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    1. Guess what is my nightmare colour? You got it!

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  7. "To become a professional builder you require just 3 things; a long piece of string, a stone (preferably with a hole through it), and a level."

    I think that should be 4 things. A pair of trousers which sit low under the belly, showing a tasteful amount of bum crack!

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  8. That person should be horsewhipped and threatened to within an inch of his life. Whoops - sorry Cro - I'm an american and along with our right to bear arms and we also have the tendency to fling indiscriminate threats around at random.

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