With our new anti-London and anti-South East England Prime Minister (some bloke called Aye-up Andy) wanting to move the UK's seat of power up to some northern town, I would like to propose that London and the Home Counties declares UNIVERSAL INDEPENDENCE a.s.a.p.
We have everything we need. A world-respected seat of government in one of the world's greatest cities, a very strong economy, and a population who have already worked hard all their lives, or are currently doing so. Our streets are clean, and we have very few unemployed. We have no need for some silly, and unnecessarily expensive, 'No 10 North'; we'll leave all that nonsense to Union members, strikers, and the work-shy.
Andy can try his best to get them to pay for all his Socialist dreams; some bloody hope! But leave us Southerners out of it.
Down in Londonshire we'll get-by with Twickenham, Wimbledon, and Hickstead. We'll go to Ascot, Henley, and the Chelsea Flower Show. We'll go shopping in Harrods, Fortnum's, and Liberty's. And we'll take our children or grandchildren to visit The Tower of London, Buckingham Palace, and Lords Cricket Ground. We have little desire to visit abandoned coal mines, disused metal bashing factories, or Whippet breeding farms.
To be a citizen of Londonshire, people will need to speak The King's English; and be easily understood. Londonshire will have very strict behaviour and decency rules. Ethnicity will not be a problem, but proof of assimilation will be essential.
Passports and residency papers would be strictly controlled, and entry to our highly desirable new country would only be granted to those who have the necessary requirements.
Anyone attempting to reach the British Isles by rubber boat, will need to land at Liverpool, Scunthorpe, or Grimsby.
In future, Dover and the whole South Coast will be CLOSED.
13 comments:
Our media is reporting terrible wild fires in France. Are you and your family safe where you are?
I woke at midnight last night to a very strong smell of smoke. This morning the air is thick with it. It's horrible. The fires are near Bordeaux, and the smoke is travelling fast. I don't think we're in any immediate danger, but the smell is quite worrying.
No 10 North - this sounds just like the obscene waste of money that is the EU parliament shuttling between Brussels and Strasbourg.
And your idea sounds reminiscent of the 1949 Ealing comedy film "Passport to Pimlico"....
One of my favourite films!!!
Westminster dates from1016; revamped in 1840-ish. Why on earth would anyone propose such a puerile gimmick, to swap it for some back street, northern, high-rise office? He tells us he want to be nearer his family; but isn't there a spare room at No 10?
Your Londonshire sounds very nice but the truth is very different. Its in the same state as every other run down place in the country, just with a higher percentage of people living rough.
It's where the wealth of the UK comes from. There may be troublesome drug gangs, and a biased Mayor, but I'd rather live in S Ken any day rather than Blackpool.
You should appointed Minister of the Portfolio of Admirable Ideas. 😅 Another worthy Cro proposal. Hear, hear!
It's true. We have such a wonderful Capital City, and this 'northern new boy' comes along and immediately wants to make Manchester into the new centre of everything. He'll have to go!
Are there no Northerners out there who are going to rise to my bait??? I dangle a nice juicy worm for you, and no-one is biting. Perhaps you all agree with me!
I am a northerner, living in Cheshire, about 10 miles from the King of the North's fiefdom. I'm as baffled as you are why he is viewed as the saviour of the nation.
Good. I'm pleased to hear that. I was listening to LBC Radio last night and there were some real Luddites who thought it was all a great idea. They'll soon change their minds!
It looks like an expensive work-from-home scheme. Did he even want the job?
Yorkshire Pudding is away on holiday if he's one of the ones you were hoping to argue with! Try again in a week or so. :)
Post a Comment