Dear Santa,
It's been a pretty horrible year, so I hope you're going to be kind to me.
After our French burglary, my mobility problems, and our recent bouts of illness, we need something more pleasant in our lives.
So, there'll be some Rum and Christmas Cake for you when you visit on the 24th/25th; provided, of course, that you come up trumps with a few requests!
I have only three requests this year.
I really would like some workable legs. The old ones are worn-out, and a refurbished pair would be much appreciated.
I would also much appreciate someone who would pop in to clean the house a bit. Preferably an attractive young lady who would come once a week to do a spot of hoovering, dusting, and polishing. It would also be good if she was experienced in providing Tea and dark chocolate digestives at 10.30 am.
And thirdly I would like a regular supply of Beef Ribs. Once a month I would like a 4 Rib joint of Beef delivered, just like the ones I used to eat as a child. It must be of good quality, and very tender. I am capable of the roasting, but not the choosing; my knowledge of the best roasting joints is sorely lacking.
So there we are old pal. Three simple requests. I know you won't let me down.
Your faithful friend, Cro xx
I was sure you mentioned a while ago that you had an attractive young lady you clean your mansion.
ReplyDelete"to clean your mansion"
DeleteWe did, but she returned to her native country, and we didn't bother to replace her. She was very nice.
DeleteIt is a pain, both literally and figuratively is ageing. I console myself with the thought that it's better than the alternative.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder!
DeleteWell my lad you can expect the beef ribs if you're leaving rum and Xmas cake. Maybe even that young cleaner with a tray of tea and biscuits. As far as the legs go, a bit difficult. A walking stick might help.
ReplyDeleteHo ho ho .
So, you don't think I was asking too much? Other than the legs, of course!
DeleteCro, I wish you that all your wishes come true.
ReplyDeleteIt's up to Santa. He never does grant my wishes, but I live in hope!
DeleteDear Cro,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that I won't be able to fulfil any of your requests. Who the hell do you think I am ? Father Christmas?
Season's Greetings,
Santa K. Claus
P.S. The K stands for Keith
Is that Keith or Keef? He hasn't granted me any wishes for years.
DeleteCro, I think your wishes are very reasonable... you're not asking for world peace (which is most likely beyond Father Christmas - or anyone). "Workable legs" is very reasonable, and someone to clean the house and provide tea and dark chocolates sounds great. I can do without the joint of beef, but still a nice preference. Wishing you and Lady M a Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteI haven't had a really good roast Beef joint for ages. I suppose I'm too much of a skinflint to pay what's required!
DeleteYour list is reasonable and easily accomplished. That said, you might have to take matters into your own hands. Santa is overbooked.
ReplyDeleteFor a roast, consider Kansas City Steak (or the UK equivalent). They deliver and provide a fantastic Prime Rib roast.
Your MD needs to check all your blood levels (potassium and magnesium included) and resolve the leg issue. In the US, private labs will work with individuals. Is the private lab an option for you? When my MD occasionally goes in to deny, delay, defend mode....I go private.
Happy Christmas.
I think my legs are just too old. They're past their 'use by date'. However, I still get around OK, but never too far. I will survive!
DeleteI must add to your Christmas list, I will put it on mine for you.
ReplyDeleteLady M. needs Cro to listen to her so she can get him all sorted with his legs. He may just need a straightening out of his vitamins/minerals/water intakes. All can be accomplished by blood tests and she needs him to quit being so stubborn for her sake. She loves him and wants to keep him with her forever.
Dear Santa I will leave it up to you to do what needs be to accomplish this...after all,it isn't going to cost you anything.
The world is a better place with him and all his family shows him so.
We, his friends, enjoy his companionship so much we heartily agree to add him to our Santa wish list.
I do know that I could have an operation on my knee, but the very idea of 'going under the knife' fills me with horror, and would probably finish me off as well. Otherwise, I shall be going to my quack for a blood test to see if there is another bucket-load of pills they can give me. Thanks for your kind words. Cro xx
DeleteThank you dearest Cro. I am on your side about the surgery, it would be a no for me as well.
ReplyDeleteIt may just be water, dearest. I know it sounds unbelievable, but who knows . No pills at all just more time taking aim in a porcelain bowl. :)