Monday, 8 May 2023

'Mate'



Someone called me 'Mate' recently, and I must say, it rather took me by surprise It's probably because I've lived away for so long, that I don't remember anyone addressing me thus previously.

I think his expression was "Or white mate?" (Are you all right mate). I mumbled some reply that I was in fine fettle, thank you so much.

Over the pond people refer to each other as either 'Bro' or 'Dude' or 'Man'. These  alternative names for 'mate' are used incessantly and are all as equally unpleasant as each other.

Are these titles really necessary? The man who addressed me as his 'Mate' could easily have asked "Or white" (Are you all right?) without the addition of the 'Mate'. Just the two words (as unnecessary as they were anyway) would have sufficed.

Personally I greet people with a simple "Good morning" or "Good afternoon" or even a more intimate "Hello, how are you?". I find no good reason to add any further wording. I cannot imagine myself going to the Doctor's (for example) and asking "How are you Mate?". It wouldn't seem right.

As a schoolboy I addressed my teachers as 'Sir', and they in return addressed me as 'Sir'. This always seemed correct, but I wonder if that still happens these days? Would they now call each other 'Mate'?

Oh, hang on; I see that the Postman has just left me some mail. I'll open the window and shout down to thank him...."Y'or white; cheers Mate".

Postie "Yer, or white; see ya".

There's nothing to beat good conversation.

39 comments:

  1. If you were female it would be ''ello Darlin'' or 'Luv'. Equally annoying.

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    Replies
    1. I've noticed several 'elderly' cash desk gals at my supermarket refer to me as 'my love'. But I don't mind that.

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  2. Replies
    1. I think 'Ducks' has died a death. You never hear that any more; thank goodness.

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    2. It's a regional thing. I am regularly addressed as ducks on the East Midland trains that come down from Nottingham. In Newcastle it would be pet. It doesn't bother me. They are terms of endearment. Mate can be used either way, endearment or sarcasm.

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    3. As you say, it's probably a regional expression. Not one we hear down here. It's usually 'mate' between men, and 'my love' or 'my lovely' for women.

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  3. I always feel ancient when addressed as "M'dear ". I much prefer "Ma'am "

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    1. Oh. I always address our cleaner as 'My dear', because I can't pronounce her name (or even remember it). Naughty me!

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  4. Your post made me smile. Greetings may be due to rural dialects. Our son lived north of London and 'or white mate' reminds me our grandson's football coach. My father in law always greets our dog and his younger grandchildren/great grandchildren with, 'alright me cocker' Most people here rural Somerset great you with just, alright, morning, afternoon. I too have being called my love by anyone.

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    Replies
    1. 'Alright me cocker' sounds very East-End.
      My son and I usually greet each other with 'Ay-up' spoken in our best Yorkshire accents.

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  5. The worst one is "Oi you", when trying to attract attention.

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    1. I wouldn't turn round if I heard that from behind me.

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  6. I guess I have become a dinosaur in relation to preferred forms of address. In our local "Itchy Pig" micropub, the barman addresses me as "bud" and it always makes me bristle. I still expect to be "sir". "Mate" may be acceptable in Australia but not in my head.

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    1. I wonder if that's where the usage originally comes from. All Aussies seem to call each other 'mate', and don't complain.

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  7. In Leeds, you might still be addressed by other men as "Love". Was very common from bus conductors until the 1980s.

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    1. Our bus conductors (drivers) are mostly surly and bored, and never utter a word.

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  8. ... and in the East Midlands it is still "Duck".

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  9. I think the feminine equivalent is Missus. regardless of whether one is wearing a ring or not.

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    1. I don't like 'Missus' either, it sounds disrespectful.

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    2. I disagree with what Weaver says. That is not the case that missus takes the place of mate as you were describing. "Thanks mate" by, for example, a delivery driver to a man would not be replaced by "thanks missus" to a woman.

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  10. It may be just your ears not working well enough, it's bound to have been 'all right Mate?' and a smile and nod is the answer.
    I would not expect that phrase as a woman.

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  11. Not the rudest thing I have been called.

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  12. Regional expressions can be very unique. I like "hello, good morning, it's a nice day today.... I do not like the "hi there" greeting that some people use. Referring to someone as "there" is offensive and even more offensive when the individual's first name is known.

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  13. Times are a changing. Mate is a downunder expression, like bros,which seems to be equally popular now. Another thing you've just got to accept.

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    Replies
    1. Some may accept it, but not me! I really don't like it.

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  14. Here no one says 'mate' - sounds Aussie, but not bad. 'Love' sounds OK... but sweetie or darlin does not. I actually dislike it when called 'young lady'... (like calling a man 'boy').
    Something we were always taught in the South was to call any older female 'Miss' like 'Miss Judy' and not simply Judy. It was a sign of respect (possibly like your 'sir').

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    Replies
    1. The use of 'Miss' sounds very 'Gone with the Wind'. Quite nice in some ways, but probably a bit old-fashioned these days.

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  15. I went to our local Farmers Cooperative to buy my Boston Ferns, the lady at the cash register (til), referred to her customers as "love". Most unusual in these Southern United States, and led me to ask her if she was an British transplant, to which she replied no, l watched it on television, Last of the Summer Wine.
    It made me smile 😊
    Jo

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    1. Nice accents in 'Last of the Summer Wine' too. The one who wore the gum-boots was my favourite.

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    2. Ooooh, Compo, so named because to him everything was an opportunity to claim 'compo'.....compensation!
      I also loved the character Foggy, named such because he was thick and wet! X

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    3. Who was the fellow always cheating on his wife?

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    4. I believe Mark Philips (Princess Anne's first husband) was known as 'Fog' for the same reasons.

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  16. William says, 'bro' and 'dude' all the time. Just a kid trying to be cool. I cannot imagine a mature adult talking like that.

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  17. Or white mate? You'll have the woke brigade after you next Cro!

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  18. Gosh you lot are so posh with your Sir and Ma'am! I feel as if I don't belong here.
    Mate used to be a lot more common in Australia but I hardly ever hear it these days. The American "Guy" or "Buddy" seems to have taken over and I don't like it one bit.

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