The Plumber phoned. He had found the small fault at the other house, and was telling me about the replacement part that he needed. I asked him to let me know how much it would cost, and when he could replace it. The plumber (Pete) is new to us; we'd found him through the unusual channels.
Lady M: Did he say how much it would be?
Cro: No, he'll let me know.
Lady M: What did he sound like?
Cro: He sounded OK.
Lady M: Only OK?
Cro: Well, he sounded short.
Lady M: What?... How on earth can you tell if someone is short or not by their voice?
Cro: I don't know, but he did sound short.
Lady M: That's ridiculous!
Cro: He's coming round tomorrow, do you want to put £5 on it?
Lady M: This is open to cheating. Are you sure you've haven't met him previously?
Cro: No, honestly; we've never met!
Lady M: OK, you're on then, £5 it is; but we'll need to decide on some classification of tall or short.
Cro: For a man, I would say that under 5ft 6ins would be classified as 'Short'.
Lady M: Right; under 5ft 6ins and you win!
N.B. He came to the house yesterday. He was about 6ft 2ins, and built like a Rugby second row forward. My hunches need honing!
Hilarious
ReplyDeleteNot for me though!
DeleteThere are people who deliberately sound short just to fool people. You need to be careful.
ReplyDeleteA Giant in Gnome's clothing perhaps?
DeleteThat's funny, Cro. Not least because till right to the end you had me fooled. I thought you were talking about being "short" as in "a man of few words".
ReplyDeleteHow will you pay Lady M? Out of your pocket money?
U
I only get £4 a week; she'll have to wait.
DeleteI too thought your short might have abrupt. So, 6'2 and built like a rugby player.
ReplyDeleteHe was a big boy; unlike his voice.
DeleteAll plumbers should we short, weaselly men (and women!) who can squeeze into tight spaces. They should also have tiny hands and charge no more than £10 an hour for their services.
ReplyDeleteAnd all Pigs should fly. I had his bill this morning, which I paid after Lady M revived me with smelling salts.
DeleteI bet he can also do Boris Johnson, Harold Wilson and Frank Spencer.
ReplyDeleteand Frankie Howerd and Kenneth Williams of course. Oooh Betty!.
DeleteI can do Frank Spencer too. Oooh Betty!
DeleteExcellent. But can you do someone short?
DeleteHa! Ha! Good for Lady M!
ReplyDeleteBad for me, I think.
DeleteWay to go, Lady M!
ReplyDeletePure luck. No skill involved!
DeleteDetermining an individuals height based on a phone conversation is a first for me! Clearly, a shot in the dark...Congrats to Lady M.
ReplyDeleteIt was a first for me too, and maybe a last too!
DeleteI'd never make a bet with my husband. He always wins. Sounds as though Lady M is another winner. But really. He had a 'short' voice. The long and the short of it is keep your thoughts to yourself next time.
ReplyDeleteToo late I'm afraid.
DeleteMaybe he was sitting down when speaking to you.
ReplyDeleteThat's the first really intelligent comment of the day. Thank you Debby!
DeleteOne Lady M will not let you forget, I assume.
ReplyDeleteAlways laugh when she mentions it.
She'll add it to the long list.
DeleteI must admit, I usually create an image of sorts of the unknown person on the end of the phone line. Height was never a part of the picture though...until now! LOL
ReplyDeleteI can't explain it, but he really did sound short.
DeleteFaces (and shapes) and voices never match, viz. the expression "having a good face for radio".
ReplyDeleteThe Plumber could easily have played the part of a short man on radio; if such a part exists.
Delete6 feet 2 inches! That's a long way from short. I'm wondering how someone can sound short, is there a certain tone to the voice?
ReplyDeleteI thought there was, but obviously I was wrong. I shall continue with my research!
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