Thursday, 16 December 2021

A Question of Size


The Plumber phoned. He had found the small fault at the other house, and was telling me about the replacement part that he needed. I asked him to let me know how much it would cost, and when he could replace it. The plumber (Pete) is new to us; we'd found him through the unusual channels.

Lady M: Did he say how much it would be?

Cro: No, he'll let me know.

Lady M: What did he sound like?

Cro: He sounded OK.

Lady M: Only OK?

Cro: Well, he sounded short.

Lady M: What?... How on earth can you tell if someone is short or not by their voice?

Cro: I don't know, but he did sound short.

Lady M: That's ridiculous!

Cro: He's coming round tomorrow, do you want to put £5 on it?

Lady M: This is open to cheating. Are you sure you've haven't met him previously?

Cro: No, honestly; we've never met!

Lady M: OK, you're on then, £5 it is; but we'll need to decide on some classification of tall or short.

Cro: For a man, I would say that under 5ft 6ins would be classified as 'Short'.

Lady M: Right; under 5ft 6ins and you win!

N.B. He came to the house yesterday. He was about 6ft 2ins, and built like a Rugby second row forward. My hunches need honing!

33 comments:

  1. There are people who deliberately sound short just to fool people. You need to be careful.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's funny, Cro. Not least because till right to the end you had me fooled. I thought you were talking about being "short" as in "a man of few words".

    How will you pay Lady M? Out of your pocket money?

    U

    ReplyDelete
  3. I too thought your short might have abrupt. So, 6'2 and built like a rugby player.

    ReplyDelete
  4. All plumbers should we short, weaselly men (and women!) who can squeeze into tight spaces. They should also have tiny hands and charge no more than £10 an hour for their services.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And all Pigs should fly. I had his bill this morning, which I paid after Lady M revived me with smelling salts.

      Delete
  5. I bet he can also do Boris Johnson, Harold Wilson and Frank Spencer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and Frankie Howerd and Kenneth Williams of course. Oooh Betty!.

      Delete
    2. I can do Frank Spencer too. Oooh Betty!

      Delete
    3. Excellent. But can you do someone short?

      Delete
  6. Determining an individuals height based on a phone conversation is a first for me! Clearly, a shot in the dark...Congrats to Lady M.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was a first for me too, and maybe a last too!

      Delete
  7. I'd never make a bet with my husband. He always wins. Sounds as though Lady M is another winner. But really. He had a 'short' voice. The long and the short of it is keep your thoughts to yourself next time.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Maybe he was sitting down when speaking to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the first really intelligent comment of the day. Thank you Debby!

      Delete
  9. One Lady M will not let you forget, I assume.
    Always laugh when she mentions it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I must admit, I usually create an image of sorts of the unknown person on the end of the phone line. Height was never a part of the picture though...until now! LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't explain it, but he really did sound short.

      Delete
  11. Faces (and shapes) and voices never match, viz. the expression "having a good face for radio".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Plumber could easily have played the part of a short man on radio; if such a part exists.

      Delete
  12. 6 feet 2 inches! That's a long way from short. I'm wondering how someone can sound short, is there a certain tone to the voice?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought there was, but obviously I was wrong. I shall continue with my research!

      Delete
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