I attended one of those renowned English schools where one did NOT return home each afternoon.
A multi-signature letter was published in this past Sunday's Observer newspaper suggesting that such institutions can damage children psychologically. I'd never really given much thought to this myself; I just took it for granted that from an early age I only saw my parents for limited periods (Lady Magnon was the same).
At school there was no replacement for one's parents, the expression 'in loco parentis' usually referred to some masochist who'd whack you for the slightest reason; however, surrogate 'brothers' were in abundance. Even that, of course, ended aged 17/18 when we all went our separate ways.
The UK's present Prime Minister is often being accused of 'never having lived in the real world', well let me assure people that being away at school certainly IS the real world. Life was pretty tough, and there was no running back to Mummy at 4.30pm to be cosseted and pampered. You had to fight to survive.
So what recompense did we receive in exchange for having been deprived of a proper family life? I think all my good school-friends (and I hope this includes myself) would agree that we became confident, independent, disciplined, free-thinking, individuals. We were all exceptionally good time-keepers, we respected each and every person from ALL walks of life, and we learned that life itself has distinct rules and regulations. We also learned how to both take and give 'commands'.
Did I miss my parents? Not really, I wasn't the type to blub in the bushes; if all you knew was that type of upbringing, it became 'normal'. In many ways it does affect your whole life; but without question 'for the good'.
p.s. Yes, the 'Hoop Trundle' did happen in my day (it has since 970 AD), but those who partook (not me) would NEVER have worn 'training' shoes. Heaven forbid!
African kids are awfully good at the hoop trundle.
ReplyDeleteBike wheels? In my day the 'trundle' was done inside the Cathedral.
DeleteIt all sounds very admirable the way you put it - but not being with my family every day would have been unthinkable.
ReplyDeleteIt always seems that way to people who haven't been put through it.
DeleteI know of someone who was sent to boarding school aged 5 years, so that would have been back in the late 1950's. He was the youngest of 7 children, His siblings also went to boarding school, though not from such a tender age. His father was a tough and ruthless business man. Whenever I stayed with them I was always shocked at how he ran the home in the same way as he ran his businesses, although he was always very sweet to me. Goodness, the memories your posts sometimes stir!
ReplyDeleteThe chap in question turned out exactly as his father intended. He took over the family business and has expanded it to become an empire.
Agree with you. It is very bad to send the kids to the boarding school. At the younger age they need the guidness of parents and also their love.
ReplyDeleteEven during college life staying in hostel makes home sick for many people!
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Unsure if the regime of boarding school would have suited me, although I guess that I'd be a far. different person if I had attended.
ReplyDeleteI can't remember many who didn't 'thrive'. One or two maybe.
DeleteI'm wondering how many 'walks of life' you came across in an English boarding school of that era?
ReplyDeleteI've read that one of the royals when growing up thought everyone lived in a castle. Further Education wasn't even mentioned in my school. It's all relative isn't it? As children how can we know any different to what we're exposed to? It's amazing what we can accept as 'normal'.
Well it obviously didn't do you any harm, Cro (knowing wink at the rest of you bloggers...).
ReplyDeleteHogwarts forever!
DeleteI am sure that many people have wished they could send their teenagers to boarding school, as those are the difficult years.
ReplyDeleteI think most children would benefit from the experience of boarding school -- but not all children. Three of our five children had the experience and the benefits far outweigh the negatives. In retrospect, I wish the other two had had the same experience as they both lack the confidence of the other three...
ReplyDeleteNone of mine went, but they are all wonderfully confident people. I think their 'Gap Year(s)' travelling helped a lot. But they also had me to deal with!
DeleteI'm having a VERY bad day.
DeleteAlthough I was never a boarding school child I did have the next best thing...Catholic School...those nuns were tough. Some were mean and crule but most were intelligent and fair. My education was solid and I learned to stand up for myself and others who needed the help. No my GK's are in mamby pamby schools why grades are passe' and all things must be "equal and fair" whether the kids earned it or not.
ReplyDeleteThis is in part why I asked about schooling in France a while ago. I went to state school and Posh Boy went to boarding school. I feel very failed by my education. What I lack PB has in spades. Although some times he lacks street smarts of when some one is hood winking him.
ReplyDeleteI feel very strongly about schools being wishy washy and everyone being a winner. Real life is not like that.
I don't care what anyone else says it gives you the edge and contacts. and I feel it gives you training for life.
I heard the other day that my friends 15 y/o son had never cleaned his own room or any where else in the house. And she spends all her time trying to get him to do school work.
If we had kids they probably wouldn't board, but we would go with an fee paying school.
Sorry I get quite passionate about it all.
It's a passionate subject Sol, hence the Observer letter last Sunday.
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