Nature Tidied.

Isn't this beautiful.

We probably all know the old joke about the priest looking over a garden wall, and saying to the gardener:

"Behold; aren't God's works wonderful". And the gardener replies "Yes, but it wasn't quite so wonderful when he was tending it by himself".

Nature is fine. But well organised nature can, occasionally, be even finer. The photos above are of my friend José's nearby Chestnut plantation (but you knew that). I was walking through yesterday, and was amazed by how the leaves have fallen in the most photogenic fashion (unlike those untidy ones in the woods).

I saw this plantation being planted, I've watched it mature, seen the crops harvested, and even bought 9 of its thinned-out trees which I'm burning in my cooker at this very moment. Love it!

All Together Now... "Happy Days are Here Again!" (Ben Selvin and the Crooners, 1930)

Who can fail to be uplifted by this? Forget Gangsta Rap; "Happy Days are Here Again!"

Cro Builds A Snowman.

OK, it may only be 4 inches high, and it may be an indoor snowman, but I made it with my own frozen hands, and suffered for my art. Bah. Humbug.

Look What I've Found.

It's official; an Eiffel Tower replica is being assembled in the woods very near to our cottage.

This giant structure is ostensibly to increase mobile phone coverage, but I'm wondering if there isn't a more sinister side to its construction. Big Brother maybe?

I'm told that if I leave a prepared casserole out on a window-sill in view of the mast, it will cook to perfection within an hour. I also hear that our pool will now stay at a permanent 28 degrees, and that the honey from bees will turn green and taste of Friars Balsam.

However, that same loony brigade tell me that if I'm cautious, and wear an aluminiun foil overcoat and matching balaclava for the rest of my life, all should be OK.

p.s. I notice that they're going to attach spikey things to it to deter hooligans. So when it's up, and no-one's looking, I definitely intend to climb to the top, and attach a Christmas Barbie Doll Fairy to the pointy bit. Well someone's got to!

Moral Dilemma.

Maybe I'm venturing dangerously close to the realm of 'morality', but I've always thought that Voltaire was absolutely right when he famously said "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it!".

Nowadays I'm not so sure. When 'Free Speech' is abused by a radical minority in order to corrupt a gullible and causeless public, maybe it's time to say 'No'.

The great problem is where one draws the line between what is acceptable and what isn't. I certainly wouldn't trust it to politicians or the judiciary, so who could make such decisions?

Perhaps 'public taste' should be the final arbiter, although how this would be implimented; I have no idea! What I do know, however, is that the 'public' is becoming increasingly angry about too much so-called 'Freedom-of-Speech', and if nothing is changed, that anger may well spill out onto the streets.

Take To The Barricades Citizens; but maybe not just yet.

Reincarnation?

This creature is a relatively new member of our little community. He goes by the name of 'Scotty'.

The strange thing about him (amongst many others) is that his eyes look disturbingly like human eyes; almost a reason to believe in reincarnation (but not quite).

He belongs to some neighbours where he is totally ignored, so he comes to us for company and long walks.

Congratulations Sir.

Now that the initial hullabaloo and brouhaha has calmed slightly, I would like to offer my open congratulations to England's foremost happy couple.

Wills will, in time, make a very good and popular king, and Kate seems to be the perfect consort.

How wonderful it'll be to have a young princess who not only knows how to behave, but also has an IQ over 80! (ahem)

I'm just wondering what I should give them as a wedding present...!

Now, I really must get my morning suit off to the cleaners.