Friday 30 May 2014

Bloody Viruses.



I've recently had a bloody annoying virus (or viruses) in my brand new laptop.

Where it came from I'm not sure, but it seemed to attack after my having looked for something (not bought something) on Ebay.

Luckily I have a friend and neighbour (Craig) who is a genius at such things, and after much hand-wringing he managed yesterday to administer the correct amount of antiviral TLC.

Perhaps the most annoying part of the whole episode was that after No 1 Son (Kimbo) had paid handsomely for a year's worth of Mr McAfee's (deepest protection) 'LiveSafe' security system on my behalf, the bloody thing failed to deliver after just 3 months, and even had the cheek to demand more money.

The virus itself had various evil effects, worst of which was probably all the ads for dating agencies and soft porn sites, that were popping-up all over the bloody place. I ignored them all, but this only made them angrier (and multiply).

I do hope my friend Craig is reading this..... He's saved me from spending the rest of my life in a mental home for deranged Silver-ish Surfers. Merçi; je vous suis infiniment reconnaissant.

Craig has also injected some brand new Microsoft antibiotics, that hopefully will stop these idiot bastards from effing-up my machine for the foreseeable future.


20 comments:

  1. I heard a couple of tech wizards saying that a certain anti virus company sent the virus out in the first place and they recently admitted it happened after a buy out. Don't know how true it was though.

    Not a very good ploy for Mc Useless though if it failed to sort the problem!

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  2. Do you think Craig could pop over to London and assist the team debugging my peripherals?

    I binned McAfee and Norton a long time ago and now rely on AVG free which seems to work (it protected me even when I was visiting such highly dangerous places as Pirate Bay et al looking for serial cracks etc.) and bugs me not with incessant offers to upgrade. The paid up version is reputed to be the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. McAfee is a pig. He sells a year's worth of useless cover, which doesn't even work for three months, then demands more dosh. Do you still know anyone in Belize?

      Delete
    2. Yes I do. My very good, long time friend of 30 years lives there.

      Delete
    3. Does he have his own baseball bat?

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    4. Oh I'm with you now!

      I thought the McCafee guy was being chased for murdering his neighbour?

      Delete
  3. AVG seems to be working for me - touch wood.

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  4. Replies
    1. I agree. Years in the African bush couldn't touch my MacBook Pro. It was only done in by a five year old armed with a glass of orange juice.

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  5. I think a virus in your technology is harder to deal with than a virus in yourself....much more emotionally draining lol.

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  6. It used to be that the fixers were ahead of the nixers, but now it seems to be the opposite. It is dangerous out there in the Internet world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe the nixers should now become the fixers.

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    2. or should be forced to be....

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  7. I found the Norton AV to be useless and extremely heavy. Slowed things down way to much. Then even after I canceled it they tried to keep billing me. I have been using the free Microsoft Av for about 4 yrs now and it seems to have don its job so far. Regrettably they have recently stopped supporting Windows XP so I finally had to upgrade to a computer with Windows 7 a couple of months ago.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure exactly what Microsoft programme Craig put in for me, but it's free, works very well with Windows 8, and is regularly and automatically updated. I have great hopes.

      Delete
  8. Oh dear, I have that McAfee LiveSafe thingy, doesn't bode well does it?
    Briony
    x

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  9. My computer guru fired up only Microsoft protection when he set up my pc a couple of years ago. Windows 7. All is well, knock wood.

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  10. I have used AVG on my own computer and like how well it works. On my work computers, i do not have a say in what is used.

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  11. Mc Useless and devious Norton are rubbish. Microsoft Security is great and is free. It's avatar looks like a little castle. I've used it for four years and have had no problems. I don't even need to switch it off to install software.

    ReplyDelete

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