Saturday 31 August 2013

Bring Back The Stocks.


                                     

There's a lot to be said for a return to simple, cheap, punishment for minor criminals.

Stocks are easy to make, and would cost next to nothing. I would even be prepared to manufacture them myself. 'Stocks-r-us' could be established almost over night.

I propose that small-time criminals (shoplifters, onesie wearers, bankers, etc) be sentenced to just a few weeks incarceration. The Stocks would be delivered to a public place near to the miscreants home, and he/she would just be left to get on with things. It would be the responsibility of the person's family to feed, clean, and look-after the poor fool. Passers-by would, of course, be encouraged to throw eggs, shout insults, and offer Coke bottles filled with vinegar. All good harmless fun.

A test run could begin almost at once, just to see how things go.

I would also reluctantly accept a small 10% commission on all money saved by HM's Prison Service.

So, come on Dave; now that you're no longer going to war, give us some old fashioned fun, save the country even more money, and make me rich!




16 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. As far as I know, a 'onesie' is a type of one-piece, once-fashionable, overall, as worn by people who shop at the very lowest end of the 'fashion' market. They are often to be found in leopard skin material etc. Horrible; just be grateful they haven't found their way to OZ!

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  2. Great idea. Humiliation and discomfort are very effective punishment tools. Not sure you should be picking on onesie wearers though!

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  3. It is indeed a great relief that the British Parliament has put the brakes on any more "bombs away" from UK at least, but the Great Satan seems to have dredged up its friendship with its "oldest ally", as Mr Kerry is now calling them:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/matt/

    Is good sense finally beginning to prevail. Probably not, but it is an uplifting thought, albeit fleeting.

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    Replies
    1. I don't know much of your Mr Kelly (other than he sounds Irish), but is he confused over his 'oldest allies' perhaps?

      After Stormin' Norman said how useless the French had been on the Kuwait/Iraq border, I thought they were no longer best friends.

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  4. Hands up all those who agree..........

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  5. What a good idea.
    Something which used to happen, and a great deterrent.

    Would you propose to have the said stocks under shelter, or just completely open to the elements.

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    Replies
    1. 'Open to the elements' would hopefully deter criminals from winter crimes. So, I think I'd go for that, 'snow capped criminals' certainly has a ring to it.

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  6. It's difficult to carry out community service duties in the stocks, but maybe they could knit? If they re-ntroduced debtor's prisons, they might be a bit overcrowded.

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    Replies
    1. I thought with 'community service', if you said you couldn't spare the time, they let you off!

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  7. when my son was born we lived in a village in Leicestershire which had not only the original stocks but also a whipping post!

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  8. I'd like a set for my husband.

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