Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Sense of Continuity.


I want to fall asleep in front of an open fire that warmed the feet of my grandfather and my grandfather's father. I want to sit back in the comfort of an old wing chair, and snore the contentment of ages past. I want to be accompanied by a faithful old dog, recumbent on the threadbare, once fine, fireside rug, just as it has always been.

I want to look in the mirror and see something of the smile of my long-departed mother's mother. I want to hear the lonely tick of the antique longcase clock, as I take my meals at the table that's been passed through generations.

I want to peruse the faded sepia photos of distant unknown uncles and aunts; buckled behind their thick leather covers. I want to admire the same paintings that they admired; portraits, landscapes, carefully arranged flowers.

I want to pick up the small framed photo of my first ever dog, and stroke his image. I want to feel the track of a tear on my cheek as I remember my mother singing a favourite night-time song.

I want to sit quietly in my warm, dimly lit room, and remember those that I once loved; those that probably would no longer remember me. I want to dream of special times, that only I would now consider special.

I want to be aware of my past, in order that it becomes part of my future. I want to feel that I belong to a place to which I was destined to belong.

I want to pick fruit from trees that were planted by men who bore the same name as me, and grow crops in the same soil that they tilled. I want to smell the same roses, cook with the same herbs, and trim the same hedges. I want to tread the same garden path as those that held my hand; and kept me from falling.

I want to be part of continuity, both past and future, and I want my children, and my children's children to be the same.

17 comments:

  1. How absolutely beautiful Cro,I don't know what else to say except that was wonderful...did you word that yourself or is it something you read,whatever I ma so glad you shared it this day.

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  2. I was in a strangely nostalgic mood.

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  3. This touched my heart ... thank you.

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  4. beautiful, just beautiful...

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  5. this is one of your most personal posts cro....
    lovely

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  6. I want it too! That was delightful.

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  7. More that loving that you want all this Cro, from what I read, I love that you live to make it so. You exert the everyday effort to make your dream come true.

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  8. I really enjoyed this post. A lovely way to honor your Ancestors. I often wonder about mine, and wish I would have paid more attention in my youth.

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  9. Feeling a little melancholy myself today.

    Lovely writing Cro.

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  10. Very nice post Cro.

    I want to win the lottery.

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  11. Inspired, wistful -- lovely stuff here.

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  12. Perfectly written with all the sentimentality that I possess in my soul as well!!

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  13. Of all the things you've written, this is my favorite. Absolutely beautiful. And sentimental. You old softie. (sniff)

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